So this is how it’ll end

One sunny afternoon of March, Tropang Ulupong was once again united for the Graduation Practice. We sat all together on a single row alphabetically arranged based on our surname. At that moment, I felt the real tension between each one of us. SO this is how it’ll end… the clique members are in conflict. Tsk Tsk. So much for the four long years of friendship. Sigh. When we were in first year, a lot of people realized how close we were (I guess they just envy us). Just then, an upperclassman uttered the words, “You’ll start united but end up divided.” At first, few of us took the statement as a fallacy. By then we believed that no strong catastrophe can ever set us apart. As I march together with this year’s batch of graduates, I realized that this conflict will never be resolved. The issues have grown so big that no other cure can ever mend the hearts of those hurt. Michelle waged war with me for some childish reasons. I set myself prepared for what she could possible do, but her aggressive maneuvers were never anticipated. I was deeply hurt by the street-lingo-ish verbal attacks and total discrimination. She has proven herself the queen of all back-stabbing and oral face-to-face frankness. Then goes Miguel, fighting so hard to join the 2008 graduates. He’s also overshadowed by pride and not so used to the begging and kneeling. He was in conflict not just with his personal principles, the teachers (who serve as his major obstacles) and the entire college department. He started a conflict with us, his former business partners: Cherry, Michelle, January and me. Upon the majority’s decision of dissolution of the partnership, Miguel took off on his own (by manufacturing yema and/or by earning through Internet blogs), I set up my own business (candles), and the other three made their own (Polymer Clay Accessories). Miguel’s business, unlike the former two, didn’t go perfectly as planned. With other commitments on some organizations (like Ateneo Debate Society Remontados where he was the president), Miguel found it hard to cope with his business. To have a fully operational business for at least four months was a major requisite upon graduation. That’s why no one knows whether or not Miguel sits with us on Saturday’s Graduation rites. Sigh (lets keep our fingers crossed).

(Part of me feels guilty on what had happened to Miguel. Even though he was such an apathetic partner, it was like he shouldn’t have been just… dumped. It was like out of the blue, we took off on our own and we managed to start as immediate as possible. He was so innocent (in fact TOO innocent that he never cared at all) when we were still partners at Soyworks and even when we decided to dissolve the partnership. It even stunned him when we said it’s over. The reason why he never got serious on his business was perhaps his reliance on his comfort zones, and his lack of preparation… these, we took away just like that. Sigh.)

Going back. The next conflict lies between our one and only Magna Cum Laude, Katrina and the all-time love birds, Jun and Jing. The issue has grown so extreme that it even involved legal intervention. I really don’t want to dwell on who’s who and what’s what. I feel like I’m in no jurisdiction to disclose any information especially now that the court handles it. Let’s just say that it’s about accusing someone he is not guilty of. Or maybe, about the good thing about apathy… keeping your mouth shut and your opinion reserved so no one will suspect you’re ruining the reputation of someone in authority.

So this is how it’ll end. We will sit an inch closer to each other with the predominant feeling of indifference. All the good times are now gone; the alliances during exams, the usual class’ lunch gatherings at some Restos, the overnight party and excursion at Barri’s, and the all the bonding moments at Xavier Hall and bull session adjacent to the church. Sigh. At least all ten of us got an award. Nine (or eight) are graduating Cum Laude, and we’ve got Katrina as a Magna Cum Laude. That’s honor over friendship. Maybe, that’s fair enough.

(I wrote this not with the hope of resolving the problem. I just wanted to feel its intensity.=P)